How you live your life really is your decision.
But are you intentionally making decisions that benefit you – or are you just letting others make decisions for you that benefit them at your expense?
Let’s find out…
Who is your boss?
Think about that question for a few minutes and answer it carefully.
If you answered with anyone else’s name other than your own – then you have a serious issue that you may wish to reevaluate immediately.
While there are indeed employers and supervisors – there is and can ever be only one true boss in your life if you intend to make your own decisions instead of being bossed around by other people with their own agendas. That is YOU – you are the only real boss over yourself, and you get to choose whether to exercise the authority you have or give it away to others and let them boss you around as they see fit toward whatever agendas they may have for you. Agendas which further their cause at the expense of any cause you should care about for yourself and for the benefit of those you care most about.
Do not underestimate this.
It may be tempting to simply write it off as just semantics – tomato vs tomatoe type stuff.
The problem is that it isn’t so much the words chosen that truly matter as do what they represent internally when you use them. The internal meanings you allow them to mean to you – that is what matters. If you are delegating the authority you have over your own self to anyone else on earth then you will be used and abused – period.
The way you think and see yourself internally and what you allow – and won’t allow – others to get away with, all these things, they are part of an overall mindset and philosophy that will determine everything else in your life.
Make no mistake about it either – this world is filled with people who are very eager to take control of you and your life in every way to the maximum extent that you let them. Most employers are abusive of their personnel to one extent or another – and the more they are allowed to get away with the more they will try to get away with.
This is also true in personal relationships of every kind as well.
I hope that you now realize that you are in charge of your life and if you want a better life then it must be you that builds it for yourself.
You always have choices.
Never ever call another person “BOSS” and never allow yourself to think of anyone as a boss over you – that is your job – and your job alone.
Some people hate their jobs. Yet they never quit or even seriously look at other options. Others tolerate abusive supervisors without ever challenging them in any way. Some even tolerate conditions and situations that are not only unsafe – but also illegal and in violation of numerous federal, state and or local laws and regulations too. They could document the issues, file a complaint within the company – or with outside agencies if and when necessary, yet they never do.
Other demands may not be safety issues or illegal in any way. They are just unfair, and abusive of the employee.
They could simply have the guts to say ” No, I am not going to do that.” when someone tries to increase their workload without even offering any increase in compensation or even asking. Instead, these abusive people come to you with demands and say do this. Most people will just comply – then complain to their coworkers and others but do nothing more other than do as they are told.
That is a mistake.
It is a mistake that slowly tears the souls out people.
The challenges will occur many times in your life – the question is what will you do about it when it happens to you?
For example, many times in my own life I have had people come to me and say they wanted me to take on this or that additional role and responsibility. I patiently listened – then sometimes I decided I could do so, and that I would be willing to do so – for a price. So I said, ” Now let’s talk about the additional compensation you will be paying me should I take on these extra responsibilities…”
Funny how that works really.
In more than one case I have had people look shocked, and then explain that they intended to pay me nothing more than I was already receiving – yet thought I was going to just do all this additional work. In each case, I explained that “No, that will not be happening. Without additional compensation – that is satisfactory to me – I will not be taking on any additional work.”
Long storey shorter – I received the exact amount of compensation that I requested, which was significant, in each case.
In other cases, people have made demands that I found unreasonable and was not willing to do, so I simply refused. Though I remained calm and professional in all cases, I made it very clear that I was prepared and ready to leave immediately if necessary. In most cases no further unreasonable demands were made – while in some other cases I did in fact quit and leave one company to go to a better opportunity elsewhere.
At the same time similar demands were made of fellow employees – instead of standing up for themselves they simply gave in and took on massive amounts of extra work – for not a single dollar more in compensation.
Of course to refuse to tolerate abuse does take guts. It takes resolve. It takes a bit of defiance and anyone who does so must always be willing to walk away and leave an abusive situation and seek something better. This requires a certain amount of self-confidence too.
When you live your life more like this you will find that fewer people will try to abuse you to begin with as they will quickly recognize that you are not easy prey as they had assumed – and that is what they always seek – easy prey.
So they will go in search of their next victim – the one who will call them ” BOSS”.
While it is certainly OK to have a job, and to be an employee – and to have supervisors as most people do – it is the way you choose to see yourself in these positions and relationships, and the amount of influence and control you ALLOW others to have over you that really matters.
Even good employers are capable of treating their employees badly at times.
It is your responsibility to protect yourself and to stand up for your own interests.
That is the main point.
You are in charge of you, and you always have choices to make.
Never surrender the right to make your own choices. Always think about what other people are asking, or attempting to demand from you – then decide whether it is in your best interest or not. Decide whether you need to stand up for yourself and say NO or whether you need to ask for more compensation, or whether you need to quit and find something better.
It’s your life – it’s your decision to make.
Instead of blindly being obedient to the whims of others – Choose Your Own Course, Build a Better Life.
Want to learn more? Check our courses page at L.D. Sewell Courses